The Distractables - your ADHD friends

Hello, welcome to The Distractables, a podcast about ADHD, where we talk about tips, tricks, and hacks to help you get through your daily life. I'm your co host, Marie. I'm the founder of Llama Life, which is for people with ADHD to help with tasks and routines.

And I'm Jesse J. Anderson, the author of Extra Focus, the quick start guide to adult ADHD, as well as the Extra Focus newsletter.

super excited today we are talking with Meredith Carter, a friend of mine, and who also just recently had a book come out. Welcome, Meredith.

Thank you so much for having me today.

So Meredith, you've got a super interesting background. So as Jesse said, you just had a book come out. You're also an ADHD coach, a creator of content, a writer.

You've got a BS in psychology and an MBA. Um, and you've done a lot of work. With employees, um, sort of training and development as well in the past 20 years. Could you tell us a little bit about your background and, you know, obviously today we want to really focus in on this topic of ADHD in the workplace, which is kind of quite a sensitive topic, I guess.

Whether we want to make that known to our employers. And if we do, how do we go about that? So maybe we start a little bit, uh, about you and your book and, and some of the things you've done, and then we can go into, into that topic.

Yeah, I am excited to share with you guys.

Uh, I, as Jesse mentioned, my book, It All Makes Sense Now, just released at the end of August. So I've been doing lots of promoting, talking to lots of people, um, and sharing about that book frequently. As you mentioned, I am also a creator on Instagram. So that is where I feel my creative outlet happens.

I love creating content there, writing, um, and sharing on that platform. As far as my background, , You know, when I look back, it's like got ADHD written all over it. I do have a undergraduate degree in psychology. I got out of school and was so burnt out that I couldn't even think about getting that master's degree that is so beneficial for really making a mark in that specific field.

So I took some time off. I found myself working more in that corporate environment and, um, find myself applying that. Information I learned when I got that psychology degree and kind of that corporate training setting because that field really does focus on understanding motivation and helping managers understand their teams.

So I sort of fell into that and got my MBA somewhere along the way. And. Really found myself kind of in this cycle of like really being excited to be in the corporate world, enjoying what I was doing, and then feeling really pulled to do something on my own.

I'd have an idea that I really wanted to implement. Um, a lot of it kind of coincided with every time I had a child, I'd be like, Oh, I want to like take a break from the corporate world for a while and pursue this idea. And I would do things on my own. And then I'd be like, Oh, I'm kind of burnt out. I don't really know why.

going back to the corporate world. So that's how it's looked for me. Uh, in the past, I think I'm about four years of coaching now. So I've been in this field for, uh, a bit of time now and found myself really finding my, my passion here. I feel like I get to apply all of the, um, skills I learned working in the corporate environment in a different setting that can really impact people with ADHD.

So here I am. That's, that's amazing. So much of that just resonates with me in terms of like finding your passion and all the different things you've done in your life have kind of all added up to now. And like, you've, you've, you've learned different things from different areas and you've kind of honed all those skills and put that into what you're doing now.

And the entrepreneurship angle as well. I feel like so many people with ADHD have this little entrepreneur kind of spark and wanting to do things on the side. I know all three of us are kind of in that, in that space as well. I've worked in corporate Jesse, I know you've worked in corporate, but we also have like our own, our own things as well that we're, we're passionate about.

Yeah. , even though I, I do have a full time job right now, I'm still doing all sorts of things on the side all the time. And it's just like there's many jobs I've had, as we kind of talked about in the previous episode, there's a lot of jobs I had where I basically found out Well, this is not compatible with the way that my brain works.

Like, I'm not going to be able to last in this place. Um, once this, once the, the dopamine of that, like honeymoon period of a new job, once that wears off, I'm just not going to last year that it's not going to work. And luckily I've, I found a job kind of in startup land where , it gives you a lot more freedom.

So it's kind of very similar to being entrepreneur in that way. And that I can control my schedule a lot more. Like if I'm just not feeling it, we'll like, I'll take an hour off and go do something else. And that's okay. That's kind of part of it. Cause otherwise, if I just had to do like the nine to five sit.

In my seat in a cubicle or whatever it is like, that's just not going to work for me, especially if there's timesheets, I'm quitting on day one. That's not going to work.

That's so funny that you mentioned that because I think that's if you're diagnosed later in life and you don't understand your ADHD brain, you can laugh about hitting the timesheets now.

But I feel that's where a lot of our barriers are in the workplace and it doesn't make sense to us when I turned 16, I got a job that day. Like, I could not wait to work. And then I found myself like, Oh, it's been a month. I can't do this anymore. And I didn't really. Get it right. Yeah.

And it was a lot of those barriers that didn't make sense to me. Like, oh, I have to submit this expense report, oh God, so that they can pay me money. I've spent back and I just like couldn't do it. And I felt too embarrassed to ask for help with it or the time sheet or all of those things kind of pile up on us and.

Um, they seem so simple to everyone else, or we think they're simple for everyone else. So we really get, um, that feeling of feeling stuck. Uh, so it's interesting that you brought that up, because a lot of us can't really admit that until we have that ADHD lens. It's like, oh yeah, it's really the timesheets that are the problem here, not me.

Yeah, yeah, it's kind of the simple stuff.

It's really kind of embarrassing when there's not any reason, when you, when you don't know about the ADHD, like I probably over the years, the different companies I've worked at probably owe thousands of dollars from expense reports that I just never filled out because I couldn't like, Hey, this is 800, but I kind of like spend 10 minutes filling out.

I'll do it week, next week, never like that. And it just like, And part of it is like, I'm, it's like brutal and it's also like, I don't want to tell anybody about it because it's really embarrassing that I can't do this thing that to most people seems like it, like it should be simple. It should be easy to just like, just do the thing real quick.

And there's this, there's this blocker that I can't get myself to do the paper. Just like when I was a kid and I could not, no matter what my parents did, I couldn't force myself to do the homework. I would just stare at it for two hours and end up with maybe some doodles, but nothing actually like filled out.

Yeah. I, um, I actually got in trouble with our accounting department when I was in corporate because I was so far behind. Still, I still ended up. Putting my expenses in, but it took so long. I think I was out of like the cycle, maybe like the quarterly cycle or whatever, or the monthly thing they had to reconcile.

And they're like, wait, these expenses are so old. We're going to do it this time, but you cannot do this in the future because you're putting all the books out. And with the timesheets, my boss, um, she was really nice about it, but she's like, you're always coming up on these reports as someone who hasn't done the timesheet yet, and we really need it because we need to build a clients and blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, Yeah, I don't know why it's so hard for me, but even when you're talking about it, I was just getting like, you know, just feeling in my chest, like, Oh my gosh, there's flashbacks to that. I

know. Same. I was in a, um, role with a huge company, so they had all kinds of hoops that you had to jump through to report your time.

Um, and I was a contractor and so I only was working a couple of days a week. And so it, like, it drove me crazy. Like putting that time in because I didn't have to do it right when I showed up because it was just kind of a way to keep track of hours. And I would get that text from my boss every week. Hey, I need your time sheet.

Can you get it to me? And a lot of it was because there were so many things to remember. I have a different password for that, but I was constantly having to change and all of these different things that needed to happen. And I, I can understand why it was hard now, but at the time not having that.

Um, ADHD lens to look through, like it was definitely a source of shame.

Yeah, for sure. And for me, I got diagnosed later in life as well, and sort of at the end of my corporate career. So I didn't have that lens until maybe the last, Couple of months that I was there and then of course it kind of all fell into place and clicked and epiphany moment and everything, but yeah, very similar to you in terms of yeah, feeling shame.

And what you said before, Jesse too, about what's wrong with me? How come I can't do these basic things? Because I'm actually pretty good at the other, like other things. I was getting really great performance reviews and there was always this, but it was like, but can you please do your time sheets and expenses and other admin tasks training as well?

Like there's a lot of corporate training, like on ethics and how to deal with things in the workplace. And I never did the training stuff on time either, because I'm like, I can't go through these videos and I can't watch this. And it's just really hard.

And then it, and then it compounds,, when I left the last company I worked at, which I was at for a long time, like almost 10 years, but when I left.

There was probably like 70, like, of those, like, instructional videos , it's supposed to, like, one or two at a time, but I was like, I don't have time this week, I don't have time, and it just built up, and then, uh, pretty soon, I was like, well, now I can never do it, it would take me, like, a whole month just to watch all these.

And so I'm never gonna watch any of them and hope no one, uh, calls me out on it. The same thing, I had a similar thing. We were talking about the expenses. Uh, one of the best things that happened, I was , two and a half years or something behind on expenses. And I just had like, well, receipts scattered or whatever.

It was, it was a mess, but they weren't being strict and so of, it was never a priority for me. And I just would. Immediately forget about it. I'm like, Oh, here's this thing. I'll throw the receipt somewhere and then forget all about it. But the best thing ever happened where they changed their, their platform and all that two and a half years of history, I didn't matter anymore.

It just like got wiped out with the, the new program. And so I was very happy with that.

Along with the money that you were owed.

Oh, probably. Yeah. You don't

need to talk about that. We don't

need to talk about that. You're like, it's worth it. It's worth it. Not having to do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I only found out about my ADHD toward the end of my work, I didn't really, I didn't have to disclose it or anything or didn't even, I didn't really have this moment where I was thinking, do I need to say something or should I say something?

Uh, I never brought it up because I kind of left, left there shortly after, but, um, I , for you, Meredith,, it sounds like you also got diagnosed after.

You know, uh, for me there was one job , the one I was working as a contractor at, and I did that in conjunction with my ADHD work for a while.

So I did disclose in that position. Um, I felt really safe to do so for a lot of reasons. I knew I was well liked by my manager. I was performing well because I was a contractor. I had a large degree of autonomy at that job. So I was able to accommodate myself and, uh, I had taken that job about. Probably around the same time I had started my training to be an ADHD coach.

So even before I disclosed, I was figuring out how to accommodate myself. And because of the flexibility I had there, I could accommodate myself. Um, and so I did disclose. It actually was, Really, really helpful to be able to do that in that role. I learned with that disclosure that my boss had a daughter with ADHD, so it actually strengthened our relationship.

Um, and I believe it allowed her to have a little more grace and understanding around those things that I was always late on. Like the, You know, those time cards and things that she was always having to text me for. Uh, she definitely, I think, felt more empowered to remind me in a way that didn't feel shameful.

Uh, so having that kind of culture of feeling safe and being able to be like, yeah, this is actually just kind of hard for me for these reasons. And I don't mind if you remind me. Um, it helped us both, I think, for, uh, communication. But again,. That was an environment that I was already established in, and that I had enough information to know that it was likely going to be a positive decision to disclose there.

I found it interesting how you use. Cause that's how I felt too. I had the same sort of situation. I was working at a place where I was doing great at my job, had a really great relationship with my manager and I got diagnosed and basically just, I didn't even think about, should I tell him what I was just like, Hey, dude, guess what?

I found out I told him right away and we have lots of conversations about it and it was great and yeah, because it was a place where I felt safe. I like it hadn't even crossed my mind that it could negatively affect me, but I know clearly there's going to be people listening where that's not the case, where they find out and they don't feel safe.

They don't feel like Their manager is someone they can trust with that information, or they worry that like, um, what will be the repercussions of this? Is this now going to be something that they blame or use as the reason to deny me promotion or whatever sort of thing, uh, going forward?

, I wonder if you have any advice for those people that don't feel safe to disclose, uh, in their workplace.

Yeah, I think that it's really valid to feel that way. Um, and You know, legally here in the US, if you disclose, they can't legally say you're fired for having ADHD. It's protected under the ADA.

But we all know that in certain environments, they'll find a different reason, right? Or, you know, in certain states, they don't even have to have a, like, give you a reason to let you go. So, uh, you know, I think it's important to trust yourself. And if your gut is saying, Hey, this isn't a safe environment for me, that there's reasons that you're feeling that way.

Um, and that's unfortunate. It's unfortunate to be in those environments, but it's, it's reality. And I find when people are really struggling with that, um, To kind of guide them into , how can I accommodate myself and communicate what I'm struggling with in a way that doesn't make me feel like I have this used against me, or that is going to make me too vulnerable or more vulnerable than I want to be.

So a lot of the accommodations that we look at with ADHD are things that we can kind of. Create for ourselves at times. So thinking about like, okay, what about this environment is not working for me? What's hard for me? What can I do without having to spell this out for someone?

I like that a lot because it's kind of putting the responsibility back on yourself in a way.

It's, it's good to kind of feel out what your employer might think or how they might react. But there's a lot of stuff we can do ourselves to kind of create that space just saying no to something, maybe we've got too much today, sort of learning how to say no when you've got too many things on your plate, or maybe having a couple of phrases that you can use.

When someone asks you to do something, like, so you're not caught off guard, you can always say, like, you know, I can't do it today, but I can do it another day. Like, you don't leave them hanging. Don't say like, I just can't do that. It's like, but I can fit it in tomorrow because I've got XYZ on today. And I've got a lot of things going on, right?

I don't know, maybe just having some phrases or something like that.

Yeah. I mean, and it's like really a lot of it is knowing ourselves, right? Knowing how we work best, what things are really hard for us, um, what could be different. Um, I mean, I want to live in a world that, like, we are feeling safe to disclose, like, I, I really wish that we had that.

But until then, um, you know, unfortunately, sometimes we have to own, like, that learning piece and be able to creatively look at how it can be different. I have, like. An example that goes way back in my work history, way before I knew I had ADHD, but now that I have, know I have ADHD, I look at how ADHD friendly this policy we had, and it wasn't an official policy, but in my group of people I worked with, we were all really, really tight knit.

We were very, very close. We were super chatty with each other. It was really fun. Um, and our cubes were all backing to each other. So we have this corner of the office where the four of us worked and we just were partying all day. We were having a good time. We were getting work done, but sometimes we really needed to focus, right?

And, um, we came up with a strategy as a team that if we were really wanting to be focused on something without interruptions, we all like got a yellow ribbon and we would Tick tack and across our cube. And if we saw that ribbon, that was a don't interrupt this person ribbon. And it was great for me because then I could like get into the hyper focus and I wasn't annoyed to be interrupted by people I normally wanted to talk to.

So thinking about things like that, I mean, like, I think that again, nobody was talking about ADHD in this workplace back then, and it helped other people too. So a lot of times when we. Our creative and ways to manage our work differently. It also empowers our team to think about how do I work best? Um, and you can come up with those solutions that benefit everybody.

I think that's great at my last job. We had kind of, kind of an open office, which sometimes can be a total nightmare, but there was a few policies that I thought worked really well. One, we just had just, it was just sort of a known headphone policy where if someone's wearing headphones, you cannot talk to them.

You don't tap them on their shoulder. You don't do anything. You can send them a message on Slack. And if they respond right away, cool. If they don't, then you leave them alone and you wait until they decide that they're available and that super helpful, that same sort of thing you're talking about, if I need to focus on something, just put the headphones on and no one's going to bother me.

And there's, I feel there's a lot of those sort of things where it's , Hey, this is just good for everybody. It happens to be specifically good for people with ADHD. But it's also just sort uh, good workplace policy. I think there's probably a lot of those. I wonder, um, for those people where they do disclose, what sort of, um, accommodations are you aware of that you've found that people have found, uh, success with, cause there's sort of a lot of different options, but I think some people

aren't sure what to do. Like, okay, now I know I have ADHD and I know that there's some struggles, but what can I actually do about it? I hear about accommodations, but what does that actually mean?

Yeah. I mean, it's a tricky topic because I believe in the U S the way the law is written is that companies have to provide reasonable accommodations.

So people's definition of reasonable can vary. But if you are in a workplace that is, um, more forward thinking and adaptable, one thing that I've had a lot of clients have a ton of success with is implementing some type of, um, check in with either a manager or a peer to take some time each week to be like, okay, which projects are a priority.

Here's where I'm at. Um, and it can be pretty informal, but a lot of times if we have a lot of self directed work in front of us, we, most of us know that people with ADHD love a good deadline. If we don't have a deadline, that sort of creates some deadlines, right? By Friday, we're going to talk about these things and give status updates.

And that can help quite a bit for people that struggle with prioritizing and planning and just kind of that Analysis paralysis, where we don't know which project to work on having that kind of check in planning type meeting built in with a peer manager each week can can really help quite a bit.

I also think that. Uh, it's really important for ADHDers to understand the fact that we are not that person that's going to have the same or similar energy every single day or the same or similar focus every single day. Um, I think often we get more done than the typical person on a day, but then the next day there's this recovery that needs to happen.

So, uh, a lot of the accommodations that can help with that are. Flexible schedules, like having, you know, a hybrid work schedule, potentially, or just that ability to have a little bit more freedom and trust to, um, operate within those energy cycles and focus cycles. Um, some of that could be like comp time, like, if you're that ADHD or that finds themselves logging into work at 10 PM and getting a ton done, being able to tell your boss.

Hey, I was online from, you 10 to 1 a. m. working on this. Is it okay if I, you know, come in a little bit later? Like those types of accommodations with flexibility really, really help.

Mm hmm. I wonder if some of it is expectation setting as well. So you kind of, you kind of touched on that when you were saying, you know, like maybe get, ask for a flexible schedule.

But I'm just thinking I, if I was talking to my boss now, I would say something like, you know, I will absolutely get it done, but how I get it done might, it might vary, but you will absolutely have it by this date. And I will either be working my, you know, my ass off really late to get it done. And maybe I'll be starting later the next day, but.

Don't worry. I will get it done. And maybe that might give them the peace of mind to let me have that flexible schedule. I, so I'm, I'm sort of thinking like you can ask for stuff, but always pair, pair that with, you know, setting the expectation that you would do it, you know?

Right. Yeah. I think that's so important because at the end of the day, they want us to get our job done at work.

They're not there to just make sure our lives are great. They don't really care. And I mean, that sounds really sad, , , you know, but usually true. Usually true. But it sometimes, so I think it's really important to you that when we are having these discussions, that we're super clear on our value as an employee.

So it doesn't come off as like, okay, I'm gonna be the problem child over here. I. Being clear on what you add to the team, being clear on your strengths within these conversations, I think, can help them be received better, and it's also, I think, empowering for us to be able to feel like we're contributing.

A lot of times, I think it just, we talk a lot about the deficits of ADHD. So, you know, there can be this feeling of I can't disclose. They're going to think it's all negative. But if we're very confident and what we add and what our skills are, we can position these conversations. So it's not you said, I just want to do whatever I want with my time.

I'm going to get this done, you know, and you can be confident that I will, but I will be a better employee because I will not burn myself out trying to have the same capacity every single day. Help them understand that this helps you be able to produce that really great work, um, but with longevity instead of just like, I'm going to like work really hard for you for like, A year and then I'm out because I'm totally burned out and that's not sustainable.

There's like, do you think there's a difference between how, how senior you are in the company? Um, in terms of disclosing things, cause I'm thinking toward the end of my corporate career, I was reporting to people who were fairly high up. And I'm just thinking back, if I had to say something, I think I would feel More, more shame or awkwardness about it because, because know, I'm having trouble doing these smaller things and maybe they might expect that I should be able to do that by now.

You know, like, do you think it makes a difference where you are in the company in terms of the approach that you might take to start a conversation about ADHD.

Yeah, I think it really can. Um, it also really, really depends on your company culture, which I think that absolutely plays in. Um, I was talking to a friend that is, also an ADHD coach that has a corporate training background as well about this very topic.

And we basically were like, the people we need to support the most are those people in between the entry level and the upper management.

So the entry level people, they're new, so they might not really disclose, but a lot of times, like, their jobs really clear, right? Like, they know what they need to respond to. They're kind of. doing work that isn't as self directed a lot of the

time.

And then our, you know, CEOs or the people that are high up in the company, they have a secretary or they have an assistant that is doing their expense reports for them.

That is doing a lot of that administrative work. But a lot of people get stuck in that middle management phase. Because of those roadblocks that are really hard that they can't tell anyone are hard. They don't make it to that C suite , where they would naturally have more support. So we end up coaching people a lot that are in that middle phase.

Um, because like you said, there is that feeling of like, by the time you're at the top of your company, you're the boss, you could disclose and people are like, well, that's cool for you. You know what I mean? Like you're already doing really well and great, like how can we support you? Whereas your, your talents are probably obvious at that point.

Whereas if you're kind of in that middle phase, you might not feel as safe to disclose because you might still be fearing that

judgment. That's so interesting. Yeah. So it's sort of like a little bit of the. I guess power dynamics, sort of where, where you are. Interesting. Yeah.

, that reminds me of like, I've been with like groups of like ADHD entrepreneurs before, and like people have joked and said, like, if we all had like a full time assistant, we'd all be millionaires because we're so good. At like the 80 percent and that 20 percent just like trips us up and holds us back so much from a lot of like that success that feels just out of reach a lot of time because of those silly little, you know, quote unquote, silly.

little paperwork things or for me, there's like, you know, things related with taxes or other stuff. That's just this constant burden that you have to carry all the time. And like, yeah, if we, if I was, you know, had a full time assistant, they could just take care of that. I mean, I feel I could go so much further just with having that 20 percent covered because the 80%, I think so many of us with ADHD are really, really, really good at.

A lot of the stuff and it's just that small percentage that really kind of catches us and holds us back.

Yeah, yeah, we're all kind of nodding because, oh, that hurts. It

hurts. Well, to pivot a little bit, let's talk a little bit about, um, your book. So first off, why did you decide to write the book and, , how has it been since it's come out?

Yeah, I have always loved to write, uh, when I was a teenager and told that you have to, like, choose a major at 18. I had a different idea for what that would be every single day of the week, but writer came up, um, and I didn't pursue it because I was like, do people actually support themselves in this career?

I don't think so. But I have always really wrote as a hobby. Um, and then, uh, Has I was going through the diagnostic process for myself. My diagnosis came after my daughter's diagnosis. So I was in this like. Um, space in life where I was like, okay, we have this new information about my daughter. I have this new information about myself.

Um, thank you for the information. This is great. But I felt there was something I was missing, right? Uh, and this was before all the information that's on like Tik Tok and Instagram. This was of in that like 2017, 2018 timeframe. And I'm a reader. I tried to read the books. I was not connecting with the books.

I, I was like, they

are all written very either clinically, or they're talking only about children and behavior. And I was like, Hey, yeah, I know my daughter needs visual charts and things like that. But , there's something. Like I could see so much in her and she had so many amazing qualities, but I just felt we had these blocks that I didn't understand.

Um, and I was having a hard time. I'd read an article here and an article there and be like, Oh, this is really a light bulb moment. But what do I do with all these light bulb moments? And that's actually what brought me to taking my first coaching courses. I took those coaching courses, um, because.

The prerequisite was a class that was just helping you understand ADHD. And I was like, if I could have gone to my community college and taken that class, I would have, like, I was like, maybe this will help

me, you know, like kind of synthesize the information. Um, and instead I was like, Oh, wait a minute.

I do employee coaching. I could be an ADHD coach. This is amazing. So I got into that and I just kept just feeling like there was a gap in the information that was out there. There wasn't anything written by people with lived experience. There wasn't much written by women. So it was always in the back of my mind, and then I think the confidence to move forward came with the response I got with Instagram.

I do a lot of written content versus video, and that always does so much better for me. And I would get those messages from people being like, you explain this really well. And. Um, I found I really enjoyed that and so that kind of inspired me to kind of pick up that, that dream of putting it all together in the book format.

I have to say I do like your Instagram content and you're right in terms of the writing part because , the videos are you doing sort of everyday life things, but then on top of that, you've got Really insightful writing and they, they just compliment each other really well.

And I know there's lots of different types of content. Like some people focus more on the videos and sort of memes and funny things. Yours is kind of like a really good combination of all that. But the writing part is, is excellent. Like, that's why I would follow your, your account. It's for the, the writing aspect.

Well, thank you. That really feels great to hear that. And I, I noticed that about myself too. I'm like, the content I like to do is when I'm writing, even if that's a video Doing the video, but then we're writing this, like, caption, I would write these long captions and , I can't keep asking these people on Instagram to read eight paragraphs.

Like, I've got to be able to put those somewhere else. So that's sort of how it came about. To circle back to your question of how it's been since, honestly, the whole process has just been, um, kind of a whirlwind. I've, uh, just writing the book. It came at a really tumultuous time in my life. Um, and then the release was two days after moving my oldest child to New York.

into college thousands of miles away from my home. So there's just been just emotions everywhere and just having so many things happening at once. Um, it's, it's been feeling a lot like a dream come true. I was very, very worried before the book came out about. How my ADHD would interact with this. I was worried about RSD a lot.

Like what's going to happen when I get that first two star review? Um, what's going to happen if my friends hate my book? Or you know what I mean? There was a lot of like, if this is a total Disaster, like, and I've dreamed of this for so long, like, there's a lot of rumination and overthinking leading up to the book.

Um, but, you know, I have, I did get the first two star review, and I survived it, and it really wasn't as big of a deal as it was before it happened. So, um, it has actually been great. It has been such an amazing opportunity to be reminded, um, about how great the ADHD community is, uh, with showing up for each other, conversations like this, just the support from the people that follow me on Instagram and messages I've received.

Um, it has been so much more fulfilling in that regard than I expected it to be. So it's, it's been pretty amazing.

That's so awesome. I love I love hearing that. Um, yeah, I remember that same feeling of like Living in terror waiting for that first negative review And yeah, once it happened.

It's like, okay. Well, that's not that bad. I can deal with that um, I do recommend Stay away from goodreads. Uh, because people are brutal. That's where that

two star review came And actually it wasn't that mean luckily it was Kind of like, okay, maybe you weren't my target audience, you know, that's fine.

And I think it had been far enough out from the release that I was in a good place. But yeah, I mean, know, this is kind of probably terrible advice. Um, but something that helped me prepare for that was, Going to the listings of people that I really admired their books, that I knew had a good book and seeing all their five and four star reviews and then clicking on their one and two.

And it felt a little like, you know, like, am I trying to be a mean girl here and see that someone tore them apart? But it really wasn't motivated by that. It was a way for me to be like, okay, I really admire this person. I know this is a good book and someone didn't like it. And that's going to be okay when that happens to me, because that's not going to take it away from my book.

I think

that's great advice. Like that's, that's a great way to approach it. I don't have a book, but I've got, obviously Llama Life is an app and it's a similar thing where occasionally we do get bad reviews as well. And I'm going to do that now. I'm going to go check out some apps that I really like and, um, go have a look at their one stars.

I mean, it

can be a little bit of a rabbit hole. So know, don't spend your whole Friday night reading reviews. Cause there's a few times where I'm like, I gotta, I gotta pull myself away from this now. But, um, but it was reassuring to remind myself that people that I really admired their work, we're all in the same boat here.

I think it's hard because like your app is your baby, your book is your baby. Like you work so hard on these books. Projects. It's not just about turning this in, in a work project. This is so personal. So, um, you know, I, I am kind of annoyed that I spent so much time ruminating about it ahead of time, but that is the ADHD brain, right?

So, so yeah.

Well, I think that's probably a good place to wrap up. So, um, Meredith, thank you so much for doing this. And, um, if people want to find you online, where, where can they, where can they go?

Well, I show up the most on Instagram. Um, my handle is at hummingbird underscore ADHD.

The book is it all makes sense. Now embrace your ADHD brain to live a creative and colorful life.

, I assume you can get that Amazon and everywhere else.

Yeah,

pretty much anywhere you're, you're buying your books, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, lots of independents too.

I've got to say, I love the cover, the cover art. So, um it really captured my attention.

And I was like, what is that? You know, it drew me in. So I. Applaud you on the cover. Well, I did not design it, but I love it too. So thank you so much. Yeah.

When they sent me the, the markers, I was like, Oh my gosh, they nailed it. I really feel like, um, if you haven't seen the cover, it's kind of the shape of a brain, but with like pinpoints connecting, and I think so much of that represents the ADHD brain, like we're connecting all these different dots all the time.

So thank you for that.

I just want to say, um, I got an early copy and it was super fun to read and I Love. There's, there's one particular, uh, embarrassing, but hilarious story that you mentioned in it about, uh, delivering food for a friend and, uh, I'll, I'll never forget that story. And if you want to hear it, you got to get the book.

Um, it's a good

story. That's probably the story. I've been for friends and family that have read my book. I get a lot of text messages. About that one, like, Oh, cause they've all heard it. They're like, Oh my gosh, I forgot how crazy that story is. So I did try to make it fun. I tried to add kind of some relatability and with the strategies and science.

I'm glad you appreciated that.

Yep. Awesome. Cool. And Marie, where can people go to connect with you?

Um, so , probably easiest would be Twitter. So I'm at three hour coffee on Twitter. That's all spelled out each word. And, um, Lamalife, you can find it in the App Store and on Google Play, just type in Lamalife or go to the website lamalife.

co. And where can people find you, Jesse?

Uh, yeah. So after you get Meredith's book, if you just need some more, you can pick up mine as well, which is called extra focus. Um, and you can also subscribe to my weekly newsletter also called extra focus at extra focus. com. And then I'm under the handle ADHD, Jesse, pretty much everywhere.

So, yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much for being here, Meredith. Uh

this is so fun. Thanks for having me.